I luV the Shirt and thE angLE man-cOOl
i LooK sO FRiendLy and blESSed in tIS piC
oH no is tat pinK backGrd aGAin anD the ligHT iS making me lOOk sO sHArp!!
It'S obSCencE, bUt i juS love thIs the moST, wIth the cooL maRk on my faCe and the blUrrED backGRd behind me. dUn foCUs on my fACE--iT shaLl be preFEct
I loOked sO fIErce in TisS piC - i admiRE tis anotheR SidE of mE
i juS likE thE angLe oF this piC - aIming dowN fRm the TOp

i am here to post everyting i have for u

y i nber sae alll this to u before
becos
when i am sad
and when its becos of u
i dun feel like telling u
as
aft i tell u
in the end
i wil be the one ending up consoling u
den in the end
my prob isnt solve aniway
so i would rather kip it to myself
but now
i realise tat i cant take it animore
i have to sae everyting tat i wan to sae out
i dun mean to hurt u
jus wan u to noe wat i feel all along

honestly tell u
i dun feel love at tymz
i tink u shld noe cos i told u yest

y is it so
even though u sae u love me thru sms and testi and etc
but u nber tel me face to face
u nber once sae "i love u" to me face to face
nber once hug me
nber once kiss me
i duno wat to do
it has been 4 mth
u noe
u ask me to wait
u sae u aint prepare to sae
and ya
u noe wat i feel
---
but how long must i wait
i nid sumting to let me move on
i felt so lost
i didnt feel acknowledged
although i noe u already did alot for me compare to ur pass bf
but
i just didnt get the feeling
mayb i am greedy
i appreciate wat u done for ne
everyting
but i realli nid more

u say u envy how other bf treat thier gf
me too envy how other gf treat their bf
and alot
how they hug thier bf automatically
saeing i luv u
and calling them names
and everyting
and when we are eating
how i wish u will feed me automatically and ask me if i wan
but
out of so mani tyms
how mani tym did u ask me
its not abt the food
its the feeling

and when i am sick
u sae u r worry
but
u didnt do aniting
yest
u have ur cca outing
i asked u
if i ask u to acc me go see doc
will u dun go to ur cca
u ans me
its ur responsibility and the tings are already bought
so u would go for it no matter wat and if there is a nid
u will leave earli and pei me
and ya
from tis
i know how much i meant to u
u noe how sad am i when i see ur msg
once u sae
i am in priority compare to mani tings
but
during twice of our mth anii
u can oni meet me late beocs of ur cca
and yest
becos of ur cca responsibility
u replied me tat
wat can i sae
i felt tat i am nothing u noe
NOTHING!
u sae u will leave earli if there is a nid
yest
my fever was 38.8 with flu and cough
tat isnt aniting
den must u wait for me to die
den u will leave earli?
i duno
tis cum to mind when i saw ur msg
and aft i tell u how i feel yest
in the end
u kip reply me and sae
now u noe wat i feel
now u noe wat i feel
are u jus pushing the blame to me
in the end
i nid to end up comforting and consoling u
and ya
did i feel aniting better
i tink no
i just feel fake
i jus feel disgusted
i duno
wat can i do
i cant let my self to dun care u
i cant bare to do tat

and everytym
u hav tings in ur mind
u jus dun wan to sae
wat r u trying to be
why cant u jus tell me
u tink telling me mak me sad or angry
but dun u noe
when u dun wan to tell me
i too will feel sad irritated and frustrated
how mani tym hav tis happeneD?
cant u jus sae watever u wan out
leave all ur complain to me
i noe i am not gud
i am lousy
mani tyms
i didnt sae anitng
but
i reali cant take it animore
and everytym
when i go out with u
when u hav tings in ur mind
u wil kip quiet and show me a face
ask u ting
u will sae nth
ya as if
u noe it is so irritated
i would rather u jus tell me wat happen
and rather u kip quiet

and when i am complainin abt my bro
can u jus show me sum support and stand in my side
everytym i complained to u
u would sae and end up to becum it is as if its my fault again
i duno
as i posted earlier on
when i hav no one to call
i caled u
i end up feeling to cry more
dun u hav aniting to tell me
i felt so lonely
i felt so alone
can u giv me some consolation like boi pls dun be sad
u nber ever call me boi or dear or aniting
i feel nth
i dunnno
sumtyms i wonder
do i hav a gf

and when cumin to our mth ani
when i show u the tings i made for u
u nber show ur happiness or aniting
nber sae aniting
not even a thank u
u noe how much i feel
its terrible
u noe
when i make for u the video
aft i let u see
i tought u would at least sae thank u or feel hapi or etc
but
in the end
u didint sae anting
ya
u noe
how i feel
although i nber sae it out
i cried on the wae back
how terrible i few
u will owaes msg me aft tat and sae thank u
and u luv me
and ya
wat is the use
its over
and its so fake
i nid sumting real
sumtings i was tinkin
y am i doin so much for u
when i get back so little
i jus tell myself becos i luv u
and i kip telling myself
things wil change and becum better
but
aft 4 mth
nth improved
and when its our 3rd mth
u sae u planned a surprise for me for our 4th mth
is ur surprise the pillow?
i appreciate tat
i like tat
but i dun tink it is ani of a big surprise to me
i jus feel dissapointed
very
and ya
wher is the 10smses?
it has been abt 2mth tat i waited
but
no sight of it
and u sae u would sing for me when we go ktv the next tym
how mani next tym hav pass
i know it had been hard for u
so i hav stop forcing u
but
i dunno
wats there to be shy infront of ur bf

and everytym i see ur blog
i jus feel sad
everytym u do posting
i am oni like a smal smal part
while ur fren
so big
i dun appear in aniwae of ur blog
haix

and whenever u tell me ur mama and aunty sae abt me
like u kip mentioning tat
its oni like oni hapeened once
but why i kip hearing tat same ting
tat incidente wher i didt send u home when we eat til so late
did u explain to them
is not becos i dun wan to send u
i hav told u the reason already
i dun wish ur relative to hav any negative impression abt me
but
wat can i do
they jus see the ugly me
and everytym dey complain to u or sae abt u
u wil be sad
when u tell me tat
i also feel bad and sad
how i wish i can be so perfect tat u and ur relative can be hapi abt me

and i tink ur studies is much much impt than me
when i hav prob
i dun even dare to sms u and tell u
i noe u will be wanting to concentrate on ur studies
but
u noe how miserable i am
i hav no one to tok to
my bro father my grandma and my whole family sux
and i dun hav ani others for me to tok to
at first i would approach amy
but she wil jus tell me to relax
i reali dun wat to do
i jus felt left alone
realli i am alone

i dun like to go home
dun like to face all the naggings socldings and al the nonsense that happen in my hse
realli
but i hav no one to go out with
except for the bunch of frens who chase idols
i tink tat may be oso a reason why i owaes go to mcs ba
i dun hav other palce to go to
no palce for me to hide

i noe i should tolerate all this
i noe guys shld comfort and console gal more
but i oso nid sum encouragement


i noe
u did alot for me
like u wil auto hold my hand
sumtyms u wil wait for me to go home before u slp and eetc
all this i aprreaciate
i am hapi
but
mayb i tink i hav put in too much
tats y i ask for the same amt or mayb more
or mayb
i am jus a person like to complain and tink too much
and think tat i hav put in alot and u hav not
i noe u hav alot to complain abt me too
u can sae everyting out too
and i hope so
i noe i am not a gud bf
i noe u aint hapi when i go home too late
or when i go and see those shows
and when i skip classes
all this i noe
and ya
wat more u wan to sae
all this
all u dun wan to tell me
owaes kip inside ur self
i duno
aft i sae all the above
wat will we stil be
i duno
wat i wan to sae is
i realli love u
from the start til now
i will let u decide
wat wil we be
i nid ur reply
i dun mean to hurt u
this is just my feeling all this while

last but not least
i nid to sae
u realli given me sum wonderful tyms and sumtyms when i reali feel hapi and luved
thanks

wat is FAMILY ?
i dun have tat in my whole life
my mother passed awae when i was 5
my grandma took care of me till i was bout 12
i love her alot and she is the only one i love in my family
she stays in malaysia and only come back to Singapore for few weeks during school holidaes
i noe she wanted to see me
and i wanted to see her
but
i dun realli wan her to come here
into this scary house of mine
everytym she cum
my bro will start screaming at her and they will be quarreling from dae to nite
i am so irritated by it
y mux my idiot bro scold my dearest grandma
tats wat make me hate him even more
he is an bastard
an evil old virgin man
todae--sumting happen
when my bro is back at 5plus evening
he realise tat my grandma packed all his stuff
and noe tat sum of his mag is being throw awae
he is frustrated and start shouting and screaming again
and me
have to like being brought into the fight
telling lies tat all the tings throw awae is mine
and my bro was like asking me wher is this and tat
and who is this and tat
i am damn frustrated
and my grandma was like crying
and she went back in the room
i duno how to console her
its was heart aching to see her cry
i dun wan to feel miserable cuming here
i duno wat to do
i cried too
but i tink no one noe
as i was lying on my bed
my bro shout and scream didnt stop even he sees my grandma crying
he jus sae she deserves it
i was feeling damn irritated
i scolded and scream back
and yet
my useless father
sitting in the living room
didnt even sae a single tin to stop my bro
wat the hell
i cant take it anymore
although i dun bear to leave her alone in the house
and i duno when my bro will stop his rubbish
i decided to go out and leave the house
before i go out
my father stil sae sumting to irritate me
and i can only sae
he care more about my crazy neighbour than us
i was feeling helpless and lonely
i have no one left in the family for me
i was alone and hav no wher to go
i hav no frens tat i can tell the story wit
i hav no shoulders for me to cry on
i was crying when i was on the wae to bus stop
and ya
i have no idea wher to go
the oni place i can go is mediacorp
and the oni person i tink of is U
but aft i call u
the more i feel like crying
i duno y
i hate my family
i hate myself
i hate everyone
i have no one
i am so helpless
wat shld i do
i hate goin home
i dun wan to face the people in this somehow fake house
i realli hope for more love and care
plssssssssssssssssssssssss
can sumone save me

i am realli realli sad

the sadness from the heart

sk

it leaves fear in me
a single action tat reminds me about it
or a single move tat resemble it make me fear
fear if the ending will be like it
i am once a lonely boi
now i have found u
but y it sumhow tell me tat past will be back
let me hope and pray for and with the love in our heart
--------------------------------------------------
the sadness from the heart

sk

it leaves fear in me
a single action tat reminds me about it
or a single move tat resemble it
make me fear
fear if the ending will be like it
i am once a lonely boi
now i have found u
but y it sumhow tell me tat
past will be back
let me hope and pray for the love in our heart

--------------------------------------------------

the sadness from the heart

sk

it leaves fear in me
a single action tat reminds me about it
or a single move tat resemble it make me fear fear
if the ending will be like it
i am once a lonely boi
now i have found u
but y it sumhow tell me tat past will be back
let me hope and pray for and with the love in our heart

--------------------------------------------------

the sadness from the heart

sk

todae went bishan
see SGidol
MILLY so Swit ah
hahaA
den aft tat went to look for her
haha
tok lotZzz
den aft tat went bugis
at first wan go eat steamboat de
but too mani ppl
den jiu go shaw centre eat ramen
so nice
i like the fried chicken
wuahha
and the teA
aft tat went bugis buy breaktok
i bough t2bread
so hungry la
eat so much ah
haAa
aft tat
went shopping
didnt buy aniting eh
den jiu take bus go mcs
wait for them cum out
oso nth to do
jiu sit here sit dere
haha
den aft tat wan drink my fren de drink
so unlucky
drink den pour onto my bag
hurhur
so SAd
nmood suddenly change
den dun feel like goin orcahrd with my fren
jiu went off alone
take the diff bus 980 change 100 change 61
took me 1hour long
wait the bus for so long lor
next tym i wont take tat
-----------------------------------------
suddenly i felt so sad
dere is sum reason
shall not sae it
--------------------------------------
i felt like vomiting now
duno y
felt so sick
haiXxx
-------------------------------------
and i hate u
y mux u everytym shout at her
yyyyy
FU ah!!!
u r not my anione
i haTE u foreveR!!

enDDed

its been bt 20daes since i last blog
haha
got miss my entry ma?
hhaa
so busy for the past many many daes...
haha
jus manage to complete my marketing proj.
erm
quite hapi satisfied and relief
the satisfaction to see a proj done by me individually being hand up
my hard work...haha redo and redo for so many time lor..finally completed..
hee..dun care rite or wrong le la
hee
yest also finish my club resort spa quiz
as mani ppl sae
studi oso no use
and i wan to slp earli the previous nite
so i nber study
oppXx
but i manage to flip thru the 10chapts notex once before the test
and my score was....
27/40
i am so hapi
i oni expect a pass
haha
i m not being hao lian ok
jus to share my happiness with u all
last mon--i oso handed in my biz entre proj
tat one quite interesting eh
and i take quite a short tym to do
hope teacher like my bloody idea ah
haha
and also...tat mon itself..i skipped culi
oH no
i was like
so guilty
but i did tat becos i want to stay at home and finish my marketing
so teacher
pls dun blame me
and that mon--sumting unpleasant happen
amber is out
oHH no
i realli didnt expect
at first i tought was mantou
but they went in
although i oso support them
but i prefer amber
so sad
realli
but they still have revival
although i noe chances not veri high
but i noe they will surely put up a wonderful show
all the best to amber and mantou
haaha
its goin to be holidae soon
i jus wish to get more slp
and complete all the proj asap
haha
planning to go thailand or hk
hEe
but i noe
in the end
we will stil be in singapore de la
---haha
thats oni empty wish la---
acc mid term test is cuming le
i studi it during my sec sch
but it is like so diff frm now eH
erm
but i hope i stil can manage to do well for it
all the best to me k
haa
----and ya-----
--------------------------------------------------------
todae is not a gud dae
mani tings happend
someting make me so irritated
i felt so lonely at tat tym
helpless
and mayb frenless
how can anione weigh between the closeness of a friendship
it can be shown by a slightness action
and it mean alot
alot alot
its over
so i shall not tink
--i tink life is abt give and take
--dun let ur anger or frustration disturb or irritated others
--being fake is just one word of advise i shall give
no matter how sad u r
put on a smile
go on and be hapi in front of everyone
and cry and shout watever u wan when u r alone
at least i do tat
i dun like to share sadness frustration with others
unless i am over irritated
i will shout
and scream
realli
--->>>>i am faker of a kind<<<-----
------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------
thanks for your consolation
i noe i still have u
---------------------------------------------------------
contact lens oso drop
keychain of zip oso gone
haiXx
wat happen tdy
so unlucky eh
------------
i tink i shall end here
not feeling veri gud now
everyting is like so tied up
wat shld i do
i dunooooo!!!
let me put on a smile and enjoy my dae infrnt of everyone
---------------yes tats me-----------------------------
look out for my next post wor
haha
dunno when will it be
lalalalala
i am looking forward to 14june
see wat u have for me
--------------------------------------------------------


i am a boi
i wish for happiness
and dislike the feeling of heartaching


i luv u u luv me??

silly stupid me
hahahahaa

SK2