Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
teared
it has been long tym since i did that
all by myself
along the journey
the quiet yet long journey
mind swirl
what would i be if i love myself more
if i have more confident
if i
the list goes on
it is always pointing out the negative and yet doing nth to turn them into positive
what am i
someone living in his own little dark world
alwaes filled himself with emo times and negative thoughts
when will i learn and when will i change
its not my fault to be short
its not my fault to be fat
its not my fault to be pimpled face
its not my fault to be not tat man
its not my fault to do what i am doing now
but still
the responsibility fall on me
ever knew a young boy who
dun dare to shit inside a public toilet
fear of being laughed and looked at by others
ever knew a young boy who
avoid the popular buses that are alwaes crowded with good looking and trendy youngsters
fear of being looked down and dispise by others
ever knew a young boy who
sticks closely to his grandma and dun dare to speak out loud for his own opinions
fear of being scolded by others
ever knew a young boy who
face down the floor while walking on the road
fear of making eye contacts with others
ever knew a young boy who
lacks of confident and courage
fear of whatever and whatever
how can such a young boy turn up to be someone that ppl admire and dares to admire someone directly and openly
with a negative childhood
he grow up with fear over his shadow of the past
nber he understand the feeling of true happiness when he is alone
frens is who he can seek his comfort from
only with frens he feel the sense of belongingness and confident
once he found someone he can share his happiness with
someone that he love
but he let it go
without much thinking
and he is left with nth of that sort now
no more love of giving and taking
how much can he share with his frens
how long can he spend with his frens
every one have their own life to live
have thier own problem to face and solve
yes it is good to share with frens
he know
neither did he take the step to share everything and every thought
nor he approaches anyone
but why
no body know including himself
and now
he is someone living in memories
he is someone that bring happiness to frens ard him
he is someone that
put up a fake front
who is still lack of confident
who depise himself
who dun have the courage to love
who dun have the pride to face a girl up front
when will he live a happy life
when will he get free of his shadow
when will he ever face his own feelings
nber did he know till the day he is gone
rmb a quest he asked his fren today during lunch
whats the best wae that can relieve him without any pain and hassle
an answer he will seek
and try when he has the courage
silently and peacefully he hope
who will be the last one that he miss and recall
the ans will be the 2 women he love most till now
tears came when he narrates his stories
he is listening
listening to his stories singing out by people thru songs
miserable songs
when will he learn
aft today
he will still be someone cheerful
but inner soul remain
silent remain
tinkings remain
it goes on and on
he is feeling miserable
there he goes
trying hard to find his happiness
he will success when his mind turns blank and empty
it may be when he seek _______
life carry on as for now
he tell himself to be strong
he tell himself everything will be fine
he tell himself he will be alright
he tell himself emo time will pass
he tell himself all sort of rubbish to comfort himself
the stories end
the longest story he had ever said
the deepest feeling he had ever said
"no worries my fren" he said
he hate himself
all by myself
along the journey
the quiet yet long journey
mind swirl
what would i be if i love myself more
if i have more confident
if i
the list goes on
it is always pointing out the negative and yet doing nth to turn them into positive
what am i
someone living in his own little dark world
alwaes filled himself with emo times and negative thoughts
when will i learn and when will i change
its not my fault to be short
its not my fault to be fat
its not my fault to be pimpled face
its not my fault to be not tat man
its not my fault to do what i am doing now
but still
the responsibility fall on me
ever knew a young boy who
dun dare to shit inside a public toilet
fear of being laughed and looked at by others
ever knew a young boy who
avoid the popular buses that are alwaes crowded with good looking and trendy youngsters
fear of being looked down and dispise by others
ever knew a young boy who
sticks closely to his grandma and dun dare to speak out loud for his own opinions
fear of being scolded by others
ever knew a young boy who
face down the floor while walking on the road
fear of making eye contacts with others
ever knew a young boy who
lacks of confident and courage
fear of whatever and whatever
how can such a young boy turn up to be someone that ppl admire and dares to admire someone directly and openly
with a negative childhood
he grow up with fear over his shadow of the past
nber he understand the feeling of true happiness when he is alone
frens is who he can seek his comfort from
only with frens he feel the sense of belongingness and confident
once he found someone he can share his happiness with
someone that he love
but he let it go
without much thinking
and he is left with nth of that sort now
no more love of giving and taking
how much can he share with his frens
how long can he spend with his frens
every one have their own life to live
have thier own problem to face and solve
yes it is good to share with frens
he know
neither did he take the step to share everything and every thought
nor he approaches anyone
but why
no body know including himself
and now
he is someone living in memories
he is someone that bring happiness to frens ard him
he is someone that
put up a fake front
who is still lack of confident
who depise himself
who dun have the courage to love
who dun have the pride to face a girl up front
when will he live a happy life
when will he get free of his shadow
when will he ever face his own feelings
nber did he know till the day he is gone
rmb a quest he asked his fren today during lunch
whats the best wae that can relieve him without any pain and hassle
an answer he will seek
and try when he has the courage
silently and peacefully he hope
who will be the last one that he miss and recall
the ans will be the 2 women he love most till now
tears came when he narrates his stories
he is listening
listening to his stories singing out by people thru songs
miserable songs
when will he learn
aft today
he will still be someone cheerful
but inner soul remain
silent remain
tinkings remain
it goes on and on
he is feeling miserable
there he goes
trying hard to find his happiness
he will success when his mind turns blank and empty
it may be when he seek _______
life carry on as for now
he tell himself to be strong
he tell himself everything will be fine
he tell himself he will be alright
he tell himself emo time will pass
he tell himself all sort of rubbish to comfort himself
the stories end
the longest story he had ever said
the deepest feeling he had ever said
"no worries my fren" he said
he hate himself
Friday, April 25, 2008
updates again
Hi everyone...long time no update
the update starts...
just received the bomb todae
the long awaited one
-notice of enlistment-
and i was scheduled to report for enlistment on the Sept 13
not tat excited not tat sad just a wierd feeling that i duno how to describe
abt 5mths more for me to prepare myself for the task that all physically fit guy have to go through
i shall do my best to train up and work hard and prepare myself real hard
after reading the letter...thghts start to run thru my mind....alot of thinking done for the 5mths on what i nid to accomplish and stuff
at least they allow me to celebrate my birthdae before going into the camp
still quite thoughtful of them
so anione who see this
make sure u make my birthdae this year a wonderful one
haaa
u all shld noe who i am refering to
: ))
anyway
backed from the much anticipated taiwan trip
a so called graduation trip for me and also the clique
lasted for 12days and 11nights from 27March - 7April
tink it is long??
nah..its too short to satisfy me
haaaa
but still
it is wonderful i can say
enjoyed the whole trip, the food, the hotel stay, the walk, the clique, the companion and the everyting
everytin is so nice and good there
if i ever have a chance i will sure emigrate over there with my future family
but still...wish is still a wish
money is still a factor for wish to come thru
haaa
shall update more of the trip in future
but if you are curious and cant wait for the update
pls visit my friendster account to look at the fotos for the trip
as we say...picture paints a thousand word
as i over spent during the trip..have no choice but to work right after i came back from the trip
and currently working tgt with jan and shan in an small company
the job is bloody hell tiring i can say
me and shan have to walk from 10-5 with 1 hour break in between
walking under the sun is realli tiring and everydae i am smelly as i sweat like hell lot
and due to the dirty dust and air i have rashes on my feet and my arms
oh no what a job is this
but still
its good to work with frens that u noe and to gossip on the phone
its the joke and companionship that makes this job a not to bad job
without the 2 i tink i will quit aft the first day of work
haaaa
and
and and
sad news to me
i realised that my height dropped and my weight increased
thats not a very good piece of news for me
shall try hard to do something to my currently unsatisfied weight
graduation ceremony of the 21May
3years of poly life just passed
lots of module
lots of tests
lots of laughter
lots of joy
lots of stress
lots of memory
lots of up and down
and most imptly
lots of companion from the clique
time realli flies
this marks the start of the new phrase of my life
wat shld i do next and wat will happen to me in the future?
we shall see
shall stop here
and will update real soon
cheers everyone
the update starts...
just received the bomb todae
the long awaited one
-notice of enlistment-
and i was scheduled to report for enlistment on the Sept 13
not tat excited not tat sad just a wierd feeling that i duno how to describe
abt 5mths more for me to prepare myself for the task that all physically fit guy have to go through
i shall do my best to train up and work hard and prepare myself real hard
after reading the letter...thghts start to run thru my mind....alot of thinking done for the 5mths on what i nid to accomplish and stuff
at least they allow me to celebrate my birthdae before going into the camp
still quite thoughtful of them
so anione who see this
make sure u make my birthdae this year a wonderful one
haaa
u all shld noe who i am refering to
: ))
anyway
backed from the much anticipated taiwan trip
a so called graduation trip for me and also the clique
lasted for 12days and 11nights from 27March - 7April
tink it is long??
nah..its too short to satisfy me
haaaa
but still
it is wonderful i can say
enjoyed the whole trip, the food, the hotel stay, the walk, the clique, the companion and the everyting
everytin is so nice and good there
if i ever have a chance i will sure emigrate over there with my future family
but still...wish is still a wish
money is still a factor for wish to come thru
haaa
shall update more of the trip in future
but if you are curious and cant wait for the update
pls visit my friendster account to look at the fotos for the trip
as we say...picture paints a thousand word
as i over spent during the trip..have no choice but to work right after i came back from the trip
and currently working tgt with jan and shan in an small company
the job is bloody hell tiring i can say
me and shan have to walk from 10-5 with 1 hour break in between
walking under the sun is realli tiring and everydae i am smelly as i sweat like hell lot
and due to the dirty dust and air i have rashes on my feet and my arms
oh no what a job is this
but still
its good to work with frens that u noe and to gossip on the phone
its the joke and companionship that makes this job a not to bad job
without the 2 i tink i will quit aft the first day of work
haaaa
and
and and
sad news to me
i realised that my height dropped and my weight increased
thats not a very good piece of news for me
shall try hard to do something to my currently unsatisfied weight
graduation ceremony of the 21May
3years of poly life just passed
lots of module
lots of tests
lots of laughter
lots of joy
lots of stress
lots of memory
lots of up and down
and most imptly
lots of companion from the clique
time realli flies
this marks the start of the new phrase of my life
wat shld i do next and wat will happen to me in the future?
we shall see
shall stop here
and will update real soon
cheers everyone